Priority Of Covenants

"The Body Subsumes The Family"

The Waco Tribune-Herald article "Homestead Heritage fights back, disputing claims of deception, abuse" states,

Another false allegation is that Homestead Heritage is not conducive to a healthy family, members say. The truth is that group needs are never placed over family needs. It’s only logical, they say, because without the family, there would be no group in the first place.

Allegations to the contrary are actually self-indicting, group members say. If a member were to do something as former member Bob Beechner claims he was required to do — leave a pregnant, bed-ridden wife to work on church literature — that person would be behaving irresponsibly. All a member must do in such a scenario is explain the situation and the group will gladly understand, they say.

Homestead has written much in its literature on what it considers to be the priority of covenants. A paper was handed out to members in 1990 called "Questions on Limits, Priorities and Responsibilities of Covenant." It was a set of questions designed to "help both you and the fellowship . . . better determine the nature of your relationship to the fellowship." (p. 2) The following are a few of those questions.

19. (C.) If you have said or indicated in any way that it is true in principle that a person's covenant with God and His Body has priority over familial  covenants, the issue remains whether you hold this principle as your own personal conviction applicable to your own life. Do you believe that your covenant with the Body now stands as the more comprehensive and more fundamental covenant? The question is not whether your covenant with the Body should stand as the greater in the sense of being the more comprehensive covenant which gives meaning to the others, but rather does it now actually do so in your life? (p. 7)

82. (Wife) Your husband has been working very hard for days on a project for the church. You're talking to a sister, and she mentions how hard it has been with her husband away from home and always working, that it seems like the responsibility of the whole family has fallen on her. She doesn't think that it's fair or Biblical and thinks her husband has been irresponsible to not change the situation. She asks you if you think it's right that the men are all working so much away from home. What would you tell her? Base your answer on scripture. (p. 17)

91.  To Newlyweds: There is always an initial time of getting adjusted to married life. Also, after your wedding, the focus of your service shifts somewhat, especially so with brothers. But ultimately God intends that families not turn in upon themselves but find their place of adjusted service to the Body. Do you feel that since your marriage you and your spouse not only serve less but even desire to serve less? Must you be personally asked to help in every situation? If every time you are asked to do something, like photo-copy, cook, help with community meals, work on the computer or baby-sit do you say, "No?" or, "I don't think I can"? In short, do you hide in your marriage and seek independence through your new marital relationship? What does it mean when someone says that marriage is designed to help facilitate your walk in God? Is this happening in your new marriage? What do you feel are the limits and extents of service the fellowship should call on married couples to perform? (p. 18)

The instructions for these questions state that "[i]f you are certain you know God's answers to these questions, you may answer them without reading any of the studies appropriate for these questions." One book that covers the information pertinent to the above questions is Covenant love: its nature, commitment, and patterns by Blair Adams.

. . . He ordains a particular place for us to both serve His purpose and to grow in Him, and that place in turn entails particular relationships with particular individuals. These relationships extend to the connection between individuals in the whole fellowship in which God places them. To prevent a person from coming into relationship with the people God has ordained for him to covenant with, to grow with, to love and serve and be loved and served by, is to obstruct his relationship with God. . . (p. 105)

Because our relationship with God must always have primacy, we must conform to the order and priority of relationships that He arranges for us, devoting our time and energy to various relationships as He directs us. Because He has ordered all relationships in subordination to our covenant with Himself and because He has also ordained that our relationship with Him be expressed through our relationship with His people (1 John 3:10; 4:1, 6, 20-21; John 13:34-35; 17:20-23), we can never allow any relationship to violate our covenant with God's people (Matt. 12:47-50). The principle here is that the larger comprehends and subsumes the smaller: God subsumes all; the Body subsumes the family; the family subsumes the individual and so on (see 1 Cor. 11:1-3 with Eph. 1:22-23, Ampl.). Each one derives its life from the larger context and therefore depends on it and remains subordinate to it in the priority of relationships whenever conflict arises. (pp. 105-106, emphasis added)

So disjointed and disconnected is today's word from any real covenant with God that many people find it utterly unfathomable how a covenant with God or His Body could be placed above a covenant with spouse or family, but this common view of the world plainly contradicts the teachings of Jesus . . . (p. 106, emphasis added)

The scriptures obviously and  specifically declare the oneness that a man and wife are to join in and the necessity of both the wife's submission to the husband and the husband's loving care for his wife. Yet this precious covenant has full meaning only in the context of the covenant with God. As we've said, compared to the covenant with God, all other relationships remain secondary. So Jesus, in presenting the cost of being a disciple, declared that anyone who would follow Him must even, if a wife demands by either word or action that a choice must be made, "hate his . . . wife" (Luke 14;26), meaning  that a man's relationship with his wife should never interfere with his relationship with God. (p. 106, emphasis added)

Yet Ephesians 1:22-23 tells us that "the fullness" of this Christ who is man's Head resides in the church. It also tells us that He is the "Head of the church (a headship exercised throughout the church)" (v. 22, Ampl.). So when 1 Corinthians 11:1-3 says that "the Head of man is Christ," it means that this headship over the individual man will be exercised through the church. (p. 106, emphasis added)

As we said, this hierarchy (literally, "holy rule") of covenant relationships necessitates a hierarchy of obligations. Obviously, our obligation to our wife must take priority over our obligation to our fellow worker on the job. And, if conflict arises, our obligation to Jesus Christ and His covenant kingdom must take priority over all of these other relationships, including marriage (Luke 14:26, 33; 18:29-30). (p. 108, emphasis added) 

So, Homestead's claim "that group needs are never placed over family needs" is contradictory to their teaching that "our obligation to Jesus Christ and His covenant kingdom must take priority over all of these other relationships, including marriage" specifically by not saying "'No' or 'I don't think I can'" when "asked to do something" for the church.

Material quoted from:
Questions on Limits, Priorities and Responsibilities of Covenant. Truth Forum, 1990.
Adams, Blair. Covenant Love: It's nature, commitment, and patterns. Truth Forum, 1989.